Still and Waiting

Like my title suggests, I am still waiting but I have learned to be still! Whew! Those are 2 hard functions for this active Christian!! No wonder God talks about it so much!

Ps. 46:10 Be still, and Know that I am God (or as my version states stop striving)

Is. 40:31 Yet those who wait on the Lord will regain new strength.

Well.... its been 2 years since I began this journey, it actually doesn't seem that long but its effects are becoming evident! I put on hold ministry, for fear I would just have to leave in the middle of something. I have put on hold having relationships with new people to meet or even old friends I have loved! I gave away one of my first loves- my guitar, because I was sure I would be leaving any minute and I had to be ready! Put my kids in home school that they totally despise because in a moments notice we may have to board a plane and I would have their schooling in control. I have left our family home to move in with my parents, to save money and to again- be ready!

My heart is heavy today and I am lonely. I haven't posted in awhile because I was feeling like I had missed God, or heard Him wrong. I very unsure of myself. But don't you know that is exactly where God wants us? Being sure of ME is never good, but being sure of God... now that's the ticket!

I still have no answers of when I am leaving on this grand adventure or how, but I have learned that God is still God and He will never change. As I trust in Him, He is remaining faithful and opening doors and showing himself everyday. Really that's all I need while I am still and I wait!

God's in the "stuff"

The best time to learn is when you are not looking! For instance- your walking along and you become distracted by a buzzing bee and as you shoo it away you don't notice the trail drops off thousands of feet down to the raging river full of razor sharp rocks and alligators snapping from hunger!!!! (pant, pant) You have learned to pay attention to where you are going, THE HARD WAY!!

Such is the way with the Lord! God bless Him!! (can we say that?) I am sooo stubborn that many times I cannot simply take a gentle nudge to go the right way, but a cast iron skillet to the head works!!

This last year has been a time of discovery, sorrow, and jubilation. And of course waiting! I believe God has wanted to teach me some facts of life for some time but I would never listen. So now when the rubber meets the road and I am about to embark on hard turf, He is preparing me quicker than I'm really ready for... I think!

Then there is mercy, a great gift! Because God is merciful, He gives me little encouragements all along the way! If I were in His shoes, I would have been so frustrated with me that I would have thrown me down that embankment to the raging river with the rocks and gators!!! But He doesn't! And because He is Mercy, I actually learn. I learn because I am amazed that He would entrust me again with the same lessons over and over, knowing I may fail! It hurts my heart to know, I fail Him sometimes! Him, whom I love and want to please so much! Him, who gave up His own life for mine because He knew I needed to learn these things. Him, who in an instant could change anything and everything, if He wanted to!

I realize that none of this makes much sense to anyone right now because I have left out specifics. But I will say this: 1. A relationship between a father and his daughter is a delicate balance when she becomes an adult. 2. A relationship between a single mom and Her God is a fortress of protection and surety. 3. A family is precious and must be preserved, sometimes it may require moving to another country to regroup!! :)

The Unmovable Perkins??

I have heard it said that sometimes in life you get a "do over". That sounds great. A chance to start afresh and try not to make the same mistakes again. WELL LET ME TELL YOU NOT ALL DO-OVERS ARE THAT GOOD!!!

I have been sent a letter about my nursing application for Queensland- AGAIN they want me to resend everything anew. WHY!!!

I think this is all a sick joke and someone is laughing....

It took me months to complete the first one, but apparently the Queensland Nursing Board has ended and a new corporation has taken over and that is why the documentation change.

I'm really just whining! Poor me!! My timing and my idea of how this would go are completely obliterated. Now I have absolutely no idea what's going on--- but that's just how God likes it. Now He's able to move me out of the drivers seat and start driving the plane.

Ooh the places we will go!! Do I trust Him? I want to... Do I need Him? I act like I don't need anyone... Will I follow Him no matter what? Yes Lord, you know I will. If this all falls apart and I am left with nothing but a memory of a time when I might have gone to Australia, I love you more and will follow you forever!!! and ever Amen!!

This isn't the end- there is no end for those called according to His purposes, but we just don't always know what that purpose is. God is bigger, higher, wider, deeper than anything I could ever even imagine- it's time to let Him be that!! The big, big God that He is. So while I wait (sigh), I will remember " For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has mercy on you!" Is 54:10

The Movable Perkins Act I

So we had renters ready to rent on the 1st of Sept! Their only request- air conditioning! The wife is pregnant and cannot possibly bear a summer without it here in Lakeside. Seems reasonable! I did want to replace our old A/C unit that caught fire several years ago. So we got some quotes and planned the job. Aug.10 (aprox 1 month after everything is a go) the rental wannabes back out! Deposit paid on the A/C- we go ahead as planned. No prospects for the rental now it's the 15th. "Lord, Lord, wherefore art thou, my Lord.....?"

I love my parents! They are very generous and wonderful... on most days! My dad and I are alot alike! Stubborn and reasonable. Loud and silent! You'd just have to see us in action to believe it! My family of 4 is going to be invading this couple's space very soon, and if we have no renters, it will be a very tight fit financially! (It is now but the renters were making it possible to look ahead)

I think God is showing me that every aspect of this plan has to be surrendered to Him or it won't work! I WANT God in control, I just forgot how to get out of the driver's seat! If I am trusting in money, or renters, or jobs, or visas... then that's just dumb! He has a plan and a way. No one can get to Australia except by Him!

I got the job!!

You know what's really cool? God knows everything! He knows what time we will wake and what time we sleep! What words will be spoken or thought of!! He KNEW I would get this job in Brisbane! A few months ago this same company tried to set up a phone interview with me and at the very time I was set to receive the call- our phone line went dead!!! Cox fixed it-3HOURS LATER!!! So I thought I blew it! I sent apologies via e-mail, but I was so discouraged and I felt like a failure. (I realized it wasn't my mistake but you know how it goes- us women take on every mistake as our responsibility!!) When a month later they requested a second interview I was shocked! But God knew- for some reason, I wasn't ready for the first interview, or they weren't ready, but whatever happened in the divine, God will was accomplished and I am blessed! I am ALWAYS blessed even when I don't feel like it! He has promised to keep me in the "cleft of His rock", "no one shall snatch me from the palm of His hand", "He is for me, who can be against?" I sometimes hate the way I feel- the way I feel doesn't change reality. Where I live doesn't change where I will go. Who we are is deep inside it comes from living, on this earth, what happens and who we know. (Jesus is a good one to know- I'm telling you!!)

So I am a little bit closer to the move but more important, I am a lot closer to the one who moves me!!!!

Any day now!

God loves me! Of that, I am positive! And because I know this , I follow His word, which says- "a man plans his ways, but the Lord guides his steps". We are also called to spread His word throughout all the earth. Also, He works all thing together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes! Wow! It's almost like a recipe for success, no matter what!! So while I am under steady progress toward my goal of nursing in Australia, I am also covered by God's ultimate goal-His good! He IS good isn't He? Amen!

I had a phone interview which was very successful with an Australian hospital on the Gold Coast, in Brisbane. they were very excited to have me on board. Now its just paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. My nursing application is still in progress.... (sigh) I feel a little bit closer!

A dear friend is moving away to North Carolina and another has moved to Oregon. I feel as if God is taking us all on our own little journeys to discover. To discover this big planet for His pleasure and His glory.....why not??!!

Well its a month since my last post and absolutely NOTHING has happened toward Australia! So I am forever hopeful and have been reading up on the country just to be prepared for what we're about to embark on! Little did I know...

80% of all that exists in Australia- exists nowhere else on earth.

And it has more things there that can kill you than anywhere else on earth!

5 of it's creatures: the funnel web spider, box jellyfish (known as "stingers"),, blue ringed octopus, paralysis tick, and stonefish are the most lethal of their type in the world!

Only Antarctica has a harsher life!!

All of these thrive well in Brisbane, along with hundreds of drowning victims every year due to the "rips" (riptides). And don't forget about your neighborhood crocs who jump up out of the local bay to ingest a tourist or two, quite frequently!

And my friends try to warn me about their sharks- I've swam with sharks (grey smoothies, but still!) and I am quite sure if I even venture into the water I won't be worried about a little shark or two!!

Isn't this exciting? (Don't read this Mom- it's not for the faint of heart!) It's the only thing that keeps Isaiah, my youngest even interested in going to the largest island on the planet!

The only living thing visible from space...The Great Barrier Reef still has animals that are uncatagorized and possibly unseen by human eyes!

These are OBVIOUSLY not reasons I am longing to embark on this adventure, but as a nurse I do see it as job security while there! I am sure that I myself would probably suffer a heart attack if faced with any of the above dangers, but mostly I would be dead! So I hereby promise to pray often and be careful!!