will they have hamburgers in heaven?

I decided that before I adventure down under, I should get my-self in order. Besides getting my house ready to rent, doing a million pieces of paperwork, working full time, being mom and dad full time, I have decided I need a personal trainer person to tell me how to eat and work out.... so now I'm hungry!!

In all honesty, I am feeling small inside and inadequate to make this move. I know that if I look better, I will feel a little better, but that doesn't last long and I'm back in self pity mode! I KNOW I can't do this alone, God has a hold of my right hand! I just wish all those around me had a little more faith in the process, and the outcome! My mom, my dad, my kids! Don't get me wrong, every other minute I am drowning in reality, but I BELIEVE in so much more than I can see right now!! Don't you... don't you want to??

Diets are for wimps, Jeff Kotterman is for crazy brave souls!! I hope that Australian food is fat, sugar, and guilt free. So as I work at working out on the outside, my favorite personal trainer Jesus is working out my insides. It hurts but it is so worth it!! That' probably why I blog, to show myself proof that God IS doing what He said He would in my life! I love you God, and You love me no matter what shape I am!!

Happy Easter!!

He is risen, indeed!! I speak of faith and miracles, but honestly, much of the time I am so doubtful. Then there are times when I truly believe, nothing will turn out right! Few are the instances when I am sure. I hear about miracles, and I believe the ones I read about in the Bible, but they don't happen for me.... I am so forgetful. They happen for us everyday!!

I received a call from my ex-husband last week that he wanted to get together to talk. I was skeptical and tried to get out of it, but he said he was sorry about the way he had behaved the last time we spoke. I agreed to meet him on Saturday. We met at a neutral location, Mc Donald's. He told me that ever since he began resisting our plans for Australia, he has felt a pressure upon him. He said that everything began to go wrong, he got to the point where he couldn't stand it any longer. He knew it was God putting the pressure on.

I began to tear up. I said a silent prayer of thanks to God. I remembered back two weeks ago when I fasted asking God for favor. I surrendered my will and my plans. I was in a battle and I knew I was in over my head. I wasn't sure of the outcome but I knew I would always follow God no matter what... even if it didn't go the way I'd hoped! Now here in a corner booth at east county's favorite food joint, I felt a surge of hope.

Not only did Tony agree to let the kids and I adventure to Australia, but he heard from God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge! For both Tony and I! My God is mighty and desires to give His children the desires of their hearts.

This is awesome, from my viewpoint but something I didn't expect happened. Both Isaiah and Faith were crushed to hear the news! They knew it was a plan in the making but they are not entirely on board with the whole idea. When they heard their dad was fighting against me because he didn't want His children taken away from him, my kids felt like their dad was fighting FOR them. Now they feel like their dad gave up the fight for them, and that old wound of abandonment reared it's ugly head to discourage my children! Whoa!! I did not see that coming.

My kids mean so much to me, as any parent knows, sometimes watching them go through spiritually hard things is heart- wrenching!! Now I am praying for them. Both for healing and for peace for the journey! Please pray with me! And for me, the mom, to do and say the right thing!